Why a new blog? Yes, this is my fourth blog. I have a travel blog, a rant blog and a weight loss blog. I could've used the rant blog, but I needed to disconnect the posts from the past and start fresh. Not that there's anything wrong with the past, but the future is ever changing. And sometimes it's not just about my future, but the future of others, so it's just best to let things stay where they belong.
So, I spent the month of February in Zihuatanejo. This trip was more than just a vacation for me. I needed to clear some cobwebs from my head and the time away afforded me the break I needed. I decided to erase all of the online dating websites and just focus on me for now. My perspective has been somewhat skewed by these sites and I just need to cleanse myself of it.
I'm not implying that this happens to everyone. But I think that's what happened to me. It's amazing how much the questions and the back and forth from others wear you down. They (meaning the male online dating candidates) want the perfect woman, i.e. athletic, smart, beautiful, looks good in jeans but dresses up for black tie events...blah blah blah. These very same men don't meet their own requirements. How is that fair?
And I absolutely despise any man that sends me an email and the first thing he says is "You're beautiful". Really? How do you know? What do you base beauty on? Of course I'm posting the best pictures of myself (although, granted...a couple of them had no make up and one had dirt on my face..I like to be realistic). If your definition of beauty is skin deep and based upon a picture...I DON'T WANT YOU!!!
What all this does is force me to continually re-evaluate myself...in a bad way. I start worrying about my weight. I start worrying about my personality. I start to doubt myself and wonder if I'm good enough for any prospective suitor. This is not good. The one thing I have going for me is my confidence. Ok, maybe my delusion as well, but still. If I allow someone, anyone to break that down, that isn't good.
This trip allowed me to get comfortable with ME. Without the worries of work, home responsibilities, etc. Granted, I did worry about the vehicle situation, but....I swore there would be no men, and there weren't (I have a bad habit of meeting men on vacation). I ate some great food, had some quality time with family and friends and had some alone time, with me. This is good. If I can't be happy by myself, I can't be happy with a partner.
Now I'm home and ready to take care of some business. Time to replace the Durango. I'm heavily leaning toward a truck. We shall see.
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